Well, it would be better put if I said kind of emotional.
Oh, alright, very emotional.
OK, fine. Very, very, very, really emotional.
I cry at embarrassing things. For instance, Lee Greenwood's song, "Proud to be an American," gets me every single time. (I know what you're thinking, "Holy cheeseball." I can't help it.)
The sunlight can be streaming through the clouds at just the right angle, looking like Heaven's gate is wide open and I'll look at it as I'm driving in the hell that is known as rush hour on westbound 595, and I'll think, "Wow, that is really gorgeous." Waterworks. The people driving next to me must think, "Oh, that poor girl is really upset about something, something really sad must have happened to her." No. No, I just thought the sky looked really pretty.
Commercials can make me cry. Especially the ones that have kids, old people, or animals in them. Hallmark commercials? Forget it. I usually have to go get a tissue after seeing one of those.
Being that's it's the end of the school year, you probably know where I'm headed with this.
Uh-huh. Yep. Graduation.
My baby graduated. She's so grown up. So poised. So confident. Ready to make her mark on the world.
She graduated from kindergarten.
And I cried. I mean, I boo-hoo'ed. Like, the kind where your chest is heaving up and down and your bottom lip is quivering and you. can. only. talk. like. this. The ugly cry. Fortunately for my pride, I was alone when I was cryin' like that. I must say I'm quite proud of myself for holding it together pretty well in public.
OK, so here's how my mind works---She was JUST a brand new baby, like, yesterday, I swear! And NOW she's already graduated from kindergarten, next elementary school will be over and done with, and then it will be middle school and and attitude and first crushes. And then, it will be boyfriends(God help me!) and high school. And make-up and dating and prom.(I think I feel sick.) And, of course, high school graduation which will lead to her LEAVING me, moving out(how cruel can one child be?!) and going to college where she very well might meet her Prince Charming. And then the next thing you know, she'll get married and have kids. And, oh my Lord! I think I might start hyperventiliating right here and now.
I can't take it! Somebody get me a paper bag! Quick!
Seriously, I have had these exact thoughts many times before. I think the first time I had this train of thought was when she was probably about 6 months old, sleeping in my arms, and I was just gazing at that beautiful little face when thoughts of the future bitch-slapped me. My husband walked in and found me crying hysterically while I holding our first born who was contentedly snoozing away. He thought something terrible had happened. Well, YEAH! I had seen her whole childhood play out in my mind and she was already moving away. I'd say that was pretty terrible. He didn't say a thing. Just walked away.
I'm pretty sure he went and got a beer.
Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh...but that's the thing about children, isn't it? They grow up and leave and make their own way.
And to tell you the truth, I wouldn't want anything different for her.
No matter how much I cry.
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