Mama is not happy

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay, so here we are, the second day of summer vacation, the time of year that every man, woman, and child looks forward to.  No school, less traffic on the commute, lazy mornings, maybe a little more cartoon watching than normal, watermelon and ice cream---summer.  Glorious, fabulous, SUMMER!

How the hell can my little darlings be so bored already?!  To the point of being at each other's throats and giving me a nasty attitude.  Attitude at 5 and 6 years old.  Really?!?!

Well, our day started off pretty well, but quickly disintegrated into shoving, sand throwing, and name calling.  I'll give you the quick run-down.

Wake up at around 7:00 am, make the coffee, let the sociopaths kids watch some TV shows that we had on the dvr, break up an argument over what show they were going to watch, enjoy an little peace and quiet while the show was on, figure out what to make for breakfast, break up ANOTHER argument over what they were watching next, had to point out to my daughter that she had picked out the first show, finish making breakfast, get them to eat, inform them that the boob tube was going off for the rest of the day and that we not going to spend out entire summer watching TV (met with considerable resistance), kicked them outside while I cleaned up the kitchen and caught up with an old girlfriend on the phone, asked girlfriend to hold on multiple times so I could yell at the little precious heads to knock it off, and finally had to get off the phone altogether when I saw the sand fight erupt in  the sandbox.  Oh yeah, full on contact, fistfuls of sand getting shoved in mouths and faces.

As you can imagine, Mama was not happy!  And if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

And frankly, I wouldn't have been surprised if that vein that runs down the middle of my forward was sticking out, as it has a tendency to do that when I get really smokin' mad.

I told everybody to strip down and jump in the pool to wash off all the sand.  Then to grab a towel and march straight back to their rooms.  Do not pass go, do not collect $200.  Honey, you are are done, done, DONE for the day!

And Mama ain't kidding around this time!

Oh, I let them come out to use the bathroom, and heck, I even took 'em some food, but they're gonna stay there for a while longer.  Gotta let them know I'm not just whistlin' Dixie!

And so, this is where they have been since 9:30 am this morning.  It is now 2:55 pm.  It's kinda been like that stages of grief thing.  You know--


1. Shock and Denial--"What?!  I didn't do anything, it was all him!"(or her, depending on who is doing the denying)


2. Pain and Guilt--The guilt part I'm not so sure about, 'cause I don't think they ever feel guilty about beating each other up, unless someone really gets hurt.  The pain part, for sure, because now they just got in trouble and are on their way to punishment.


3. Anger and Bargaining--Definitely a lot of that going on.  "I can't believe I have to go to my room."(usually said very angrily as they stomp off to their room)  This is most often accompanied by the promise of never doing it again.


4. "Depression", Reflection, and Loneliness-- "How looooooong do I hafta stay in my roooooom?"  "Maaaaama, WHEN can I come out?  I'm sooooooo bored and I'm aaaallllll by myself!"  Well, yes, that's the point.


5. The Upward Turn-- "Look, Mama, I'm cleaning up my room and putting everything away."  Very good, young Jedi, you are learning.

6. Reconstruction and Working Through-- "I told her/him I'm sorry.  We promise to get along now."  Uh-huh, but your butt is still staying in your room.

and finally...


7. Acceptance and Hope-- "Okaaaay, we understand.  You are only trying to teach us to be decent, caring human beings and we love and respect you so much for the extremely difficult job that you have for the next 15 plus years.  We understand that we don't get to play with anyone or go outside, but maybe we can swim tonight before we go to bed!  And we promise that tomorrow will be waaaaaaay better!"  Alright, they didn't really say that last part.  I made it up.  I'm just hoping that's what they are thinking.


I'll keep you posted on how many more times we have go through this this summer.  Hopefully, none.  


But, I doubt it.